Book Reviews: The It Factor

According to author Mark Wiskup, being likeable is something you can learn. Come on, we've all seen people who are very likeable and popular and wondered "how can I be like that?" Some people think that likeable people are just born that way. The author argues otherwise.

Being likeable is learnable. The It Factor: Be the One People Like, Listen to, and Remember (AMACOM, 2007) provides advice for mastering your sales pitch, succeeding with small talk, giving good compliments, and staying away from annoying patronizing patter. The book offers practical suggestions, sample scenarios and even scripts. While some may think such stuff is too rote and even contrived, the truth is that this is training similar to that provided by management experts and trainers like Dale Carnegie Training.

The book discusses 5 Ways to Be More Likeable:

In real estate, being a “people person” is core to our jobs, success and incomes. The ability to create and sustain relationships as well as foster trust is vital. If you don't say the right thing, you can end up blowing the deal. Wiskup offers the following ideas for increasing your likeability in virtually any situation:

1. Offer Specific Compliments. Non-specific compliments like “I’m really happy to meet with you today" appear to be insincere, and perhaps even uncaring. Make sure your compliments are well understood and received by being descriptive and showing that you did your homework. Instead of saying “Great job on acquiring a listing. Keep up the good work,” try saying “Good job on the getting that listing. That listing may prove to be important to our inventory and our ability to make budget and improve our bottom-line. Your ability to acquire this listing speaks of your ability as a listing agent and your concern for our agency."

2. Avoid Small Talk. We all know what small talk is; however, use it to build a conversational foundation and then as a launching point to get more specific in your questions and conversation.

3. Improve your Sales Pitch. Have a number of prepared pitches you can use at any time at conferences, events, and sales appointments and other situations. Be careful not to use industry-specific jargon that isn't understood by the public. Also, describe what you actually do for your customers by saying the following:

“My clients hire me because I…” or “what I'm really good at is…". Give customers and clients specific stories as to how you helped meet people's needs, made sales, overcome problems, etc. Make sure your stories speak to their needs and situation.

4. Don’t Patronize! Some phrases are a big turn-off to listeners. Be careful not to say "I'm sorry" if you don't feel that way. Over-using the word "basically" can sound like you are dumbing down the person you are talking to.

5. Painting Pictures. Use word pictures and illustrations in your conversations to provide clarity, relevance and understanding. Too many coversations use too many idioms, over-used expressions, statistics, etc., that don't promote good conversation and prevent the listener from truly listening and paying attention to you. Make sure when communicating you tell others why something is important to them and make sure whatever you say makes relevant the subject matter to your customer's/client's situation/need.

Those who have ‘it’ are people who are really just like you. However, they have taken the time to study and cultivate some very important communication and relationship skills. They aren't simply better than you, or more blessed, or possess better DNA, etc. This book, and others like it, offers great hope that anyone who makes this a priority, with some time and attention, can acquire the necessary skills and become very effective and even dynamic in their relationships and communication. Yes, you can become a very likeable person - this book shows you how!

About the Author

Mark Wiskup, a former television journalist, is a communication skills coach and international speaker who helps business people master the skills of communicating effectively. He is also the author of Presentation S.O.S. (Business Plus, 2005).